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The Bible describes God in many ways, but one of the most common is as “our father”. The role of a father in this world is obviously very important, and the lack of good fathers is probably the primary cause for the darkness, disorder, and lack of direction so many of us have felt in this life. One could argue that mothers have become so much more important in family life in these times because most of them are performing both leadership roles in families.

I have read many times that people tend to view God similarly to how they view their own fathers. For many, their fathers are/were non-existent in their lives. They didn’t show or demonstrate their love. They didn’t spend time playing or working with us. Many of them were just weak, helpless individuals who were totally unprepared to be a father. As they say, anyone can make babies, but few become real fathers or mothers. A major reason for the breakdown of today’s families and culture is the obvious absence of a father’s role in so many of our lives.

Chances are if you had a good, strong father in your life it will be easy for you to believe in and see God as good and you will pursue a relationship with him spiritually. If you had a father who was distant and disinterested in you, it will be easy to perceive God in the same way…if you choose to believe in him at all. If your father was totally absent from your life, well, the tendency unfortunately will be for you to not feel the presence or reality of God in yours. This should be very vivid in the minds and hearts of believing men.

I can see this in my own life all these decades. My father was an all around “good guy” who had many talents and capabilities. He was an attractive man with a good personality that people liked to be around. Unfortunately, like so many, he was not brought up with a lot of “warmth and fuzziness”. The men in our lineage were mostly simple farmers, not extremely educated, and were not emotionally available. I think my father inherited both good and bad traits from his heredity and was not able to overcome some of his own upbringing and limitations. He was never much of a “giver” and was emotionally quite distant. He lived mostly for pleasure, good times, and to make just enough money to “feel secure” for tomorrow. He was not a long term planner or visionary and while he did have a heart and wanted to help raise us…overall I think he just allowed the pressures and cares of this world to dominate his mind and actions to where he found it difficult to reach out or be “unconditional” with his love and emotions toward us. He would “do his duty” sometimes, but it was often without joy or sentiment. He, like me, tended to be a quiet rebel, and while some people like independent rebels…it often times doesn’t fit in or perform the roles that society and “God the Father” demands of us for our own good.  We rebels tend to go off on our own and reject the norms of human behavior. Sometimes we think the “bad boy” is to be admired or revered in society like in Hollywood movies, but in families this can be a devastating attitude.

Fortunately for many of us, we discover and find what was lacking in our fathers through spiritual pursuits of “God our Father”. We discover the moral rules and laws that have been set down before us…not to control our lives or behaviors…but to protect us from ourselves as children who don’t know any better. Many of us are fortunate to have strong mothers who have successfully covered the role of absentee fathers, or as in my case, a step-father comes along by God’s grace who breach the gap left by our blood fathers.

I believe this is the nature and will of God as our creator. While he has allowed sin to be chosen by our forefathers that brings cause and effect of terrible consequences, He also provides another way to overcome the wages of our sins and shortcoming. He does this spiritually in the revelation of a path to salvation and restoration of our souls, and he also brings real people into our lives to teach us and love us in ways we never expected or thought possible.

I was fortunate in that with my parent’s divorce, after a number of soul searching years, my mother found her true “soul mate” and married my stepfather Brad. This man quickly stepped into the breach of the areas my father had left vacant. He focused time and activities to share himself with my sister and me, brought us financial shelter and security though his preparation, hard work, and discipline of investing in the future, and more importantly opened his heart and mind in his attempts to guide and encourage us.

I was so fortunate as I look back now. I stayed in relationship to my father until he passed 8 years ago and appreciated some recovered meaningful times with him, but I was so fortunate to have such a gifted step father as a strong stand in for the gaps that had been left during my childhood. God has shown his grace by gifting me with TWO fathers as well as a few other great men like my grandfather and uncles who “stood in the gap” for what my father could not provide. It might not have been the perfect way or plan that God intended, but God shows his grace towards us that while we are not deserving, he sacrificed his Son for us so that our sins could be forgiven and that our relationship with our Heavenly Father could spiritually cover the gaps in our relationships in a fallen world. Our situations in this life are never perfect because of sin…but God provides a ways of escape and growth through our failures and tribulations in this life.

I now see clearly how easy it is to let our earthly fathers control our views or feelings regarding our heavenly father. So many of us feel disconnected and “unbelieving” in God the father because we lost faith in our earthly fathers. Many feel guilty and undeserving of a relationship with the heavenly father because our earthly fathers always guilt tripped us or abused us physically, emotionally or mentally. So many grew up without a father period and therefore feel like they are totally on their own in this world and cannot count on anyone else. These are some of the most suffering people in the world and it was not their fault. It was sin’s fault.

Thankfully, God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit have revealed themselves to us so that even in this life we can be fully connected to the love of our heavenly father, the master of the universe.  He has revealed himself to us by sacrificing for us even before we were born physically. He has known us from the beginning of time. He has counted and knows the number of hairs on our heads. He has laid down the moral laws we are to follow, but he has also provided a plan of forgiveness when we fail to obey or be moral. If we allow him to be, he will be all we need where our human fathers have failed us. He is continually working on everyone who willfully seeks Him and will obey Him. He loves us and has a plan for each of our lives…if we will only submit to his instructions and ways.

I pray that God will reveal himself to every person who has struggled or lost faith in their fathers. Our heavenly father is ready, willing and able to help us in all our problems. He will not solve all our problems for us with a snap of the finger, but as a loving father he will teach us how to resolve our own challenges with his support. He will not force himself on us to “obey” his guidance, but he will be there to pick us up when we have failed or are crying out of frustration. He will not kick you when you are down. He will show us how to be strong like he is. He will bring us up to our full potential as his Sons and Daughters…if we will listen and pursue the relationship with Him. He has already shown us the way…we just need to follow in his steps.