I think one of the greatest conflicts spiritually in the Christian faith is dealing with the self.
This modern age is obviously about self… self-image, self-worth, self-love, self-motivation, etc. The media are all full of advertising and messaging geared to sell us “stuff” that makes us look better, feel better, increase our wealth, or help us compete with others. All of these obviously conflict at some level with what the Bible says about the “self”…
But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. (2 Timothy 3:1-5)
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37-39)
Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding. (2 Corinthians 10:12)
Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. (Matthew 16:24-25)
I think the greatest challenge in following Christ and living by his example is learning how to not live selfishly according to our own needs and desires. It is not that we are not to love or take care of ourselves. In fact, from the passages above it is obvious that we are to love ourselves as God loves us and to care for our health and physical well-being. We also are to have joy and happiness in this life in balance with the pain and suffering we also experience.
Where we run into problems is putting God and others before ourselves. This is the most difficult part of the “love” commandments…whether it is laying down our lives for someone else, or simply the notion of letting someone ahead of us in a line. It can cost much or little, but it is what God expects of his followers.
The biggest issue with ourselves is our egos. We all have them. The ego somewhat equates with self-worth or self-esteem. Some of us have too much of this while others too little. I think this is to be a balance between taking care of ourselves and making the most of the talents and abilities God has given each of us, but meanwhile, we are not to compare ourselves with others in thinking too highly or lowly of ourselves. It is a tough balance to manage…but with God’s help spiritually, we can be masters over our own egos.
Finally, when it comes to self-motivation and self-worth, we are to do all as an offering back to God our creator for all He has given us. If we live in thanks for what we have versus constantly thinking about what we might lack…our self-worth and motivation will never be about money, image, or how others perceive us. Self-conceit or self-pride is not to be part of our spiritual walk if we truly submit to the will of God regarding ourselves. How wonderful to experience the freedom of NOT conforming to this world’s standards and values because all we care about is pleasing God. If we take comfort and joy in that, self-pride will be easier to control and our joy and happiness will always be coming from within versus seeking accolades or our worth based on how others see us.
These are the personal traits that we see time and time again throughout the Bible where God’s chosen were fundamentally different than the majority around them. I think it a good thing when we are different from most people because that means we are not dependent on their views or pleasing THEM. We are simply to account for our SELVES before God almighty and let the world at large judge us or not at will. We are not dependent on their favor and they do not see us as God sees us.
As for any success, acclaim, or wealth we may gain this life…we need not be ashamed of success or accomplishments as long as we acknowledge the source of that which are the direct blessings of God. Our health, wealth, and successes come as blessings to us for which we can take little credit outside of being obedient to the purpose God has created us to accomplish.
It’s OK to love ourselves as long as it is in balance with loving others and loving God. All else is vainglory and temporary pleasure and we will always be disappointed or unfulfilled if all we have is ourselves to think about and live for.